where have you gone
by BadWolfKaily
Summary: Cat Grant went missing and after Supergirl found her nobody could have dreamed of what she had been put through, what caused her to lose her memory. Now as they try and piece together what happened Cat and Kara grow closer. And so does danger.
1. Chapter 1

Cat Grant was missing. That's all everyone knew, they didn't know where she was or what had happened. She was on a return flight back to National City when her private jet went down in a forested part of Northern California. There was no signs of her or the pilot's in the wreckage. So a search party had been sent out and Supergirl soon followed, if anyone could find Cat Grant it was going to be Supergirl. Kara had to admit with her new job keeping her rather busy and her daily saving National City routine she barely saw Cat anymore.

She missed Cat, she never thought she'd hear herself say that. She's not sure when or how long she had started to feel something for Cat Grant that was more than she should be feeling. But she tried not to dwell on it and thus the reason why she found herself so busy all the time. Kara was angry with herself, she wasn't sure why it was taking her so long to find Cat but she couldn't be dead. She just couldn't.

A week of searching and the search team had been called off but Kara still searched every chance she got. James momentarily taking care of business for CatCo until an answer behind Cat's disappearance could be determined. It was the eighth night and Kara searched, coming to a waterfall in a clearing, a cave nearby. Her super hearing picked up on a heartbeat coming from inside the cave. Thinking it was just a black bear at first but she caught a familiar scent on the air and flew to the mouth of the cave.

Kara gulped and shouted into the cave, "Miss Grant!?"

But there was no answer back. Walking further into the cave Kara noticed a faint glow bouncing off the walls and as she got closer she realized it was fire. And sure enough in the back of the cave was a fire and a small figure curled up next to it. Cautiously walking up to the figure she knew had to be Cat, dirty and smaller looking, but the same blonde hair. Reaching a hand out Kara shook at her shoulder, "Miss Grant?"

Startling her awake Cat screamed and pushed herself far away from Kara, looking at her with panic.

Holding her hands up Kara took a slow step forward, "It's okay now Miss Grant, you're safe."

But Cat looked at her like she had no idea who she was, trying to push herself as far into the cave wall as possible.

"Cat...Cat, it's okay, it's me Supergirl. You're safe now, I'm going to take you home."

Cat was clearly having a panic attack, breathing hard, and Kara could hear the rapid beating over her heart.

Crouching down to Cat's level Kara looked at her with a warmness and protectiveness reserved for only her. Reaching out a hand which made Cat flinch but she remained stationary.

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay, I won't hurt you," and if there were ever a time that Kara didn't know why the next few words out of her mouth with this it was now, "It's me….Kara. Let's go home, Cat."

Cat's breathing evened out and she looked from Kara's warm eyes to the hand she held out and back again, "Ka-ra…"

Cat's voice came out unlike herself, like she didn't know who she was. But Kara smiled and nodded, "Yeah, Kara, that's me."

"Kara."

The disheveled blonde reached out slowly and placed her hand in Kara's feeling the warmth of her made Cat feel safe so she threw herself into Kara's arms and clung to her like her life depended on it. Cupping Cat's head to comfort the woman's trembling Kara picked her up and looked around, noticing broken sticks and berries and small animal bones. What had happened to Cat Grant and the two missing pilots?

Why hadn't she sought out civilization, why was she hiding out in a cave like this?

"Now don't be afraid, I'm going to fly us back to National City. Hold on tight."

Kara heard a yelp and felt Cat's grasp around her neck tighten as she launched them into the night air. She had to take her to a hospital and figure out what was wrong with the woman. She must be in shock is all Kara could think of. And so she flies faster back to National City, Cat clinging tight and a nagging worry that whatever happened to Cat might happen again.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara didn't quite think of taking Cat to a public hospital, the first place she flew to was the DEO. And needless to say Hank was rather angry with her but it was just instinct to fly there and it's not like Cat would have liked her flying her to a public hospital in the state she was in, she'd be mortified. Either way Kara thinks that Cat's reaction would be the same in either case, only at the DEO there isn't anyone taking pictures or gossiping about the fact that Cat got scared of the doctor's and clamored back into Kara's arms. So here is Supergirl sitting on a hospital bed with a scared, dirty, and amnesiac Cat Grant shaking in her arms while the doctor looks her over.

Kara somehow managed to convince Cat to stay with Alex who awkwardly only agreed to hold her hand. It was weird babying a woman who was old enough to be her mother but it was kind of sad to see the small woman seem so fragile. How far the almighty Queen of all media had fallen.

"What's up, doctor? Is she okay?"

"Besides the retrograde amnesia, which should only be temporary, whatever she went through it must've been rough. There's blood and skin underneath her fingernails which we've taken to get tested and she's got bruises around her wrists. It seems to me that she wasn't just merely lost in the wilderness all this time, someone held her captive."

"How, who? How do you know?"

"She's got track marks on her arms. She must've been drugged, but she fought whoever it was. Besides being a little malnourished I don't see any other injuries, but we do need to run a rapekit. I hate to resort to that but who knows what happened to her out there."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right."

Kara looked back over at Cat who was still clutching Alex's hand who seemed to be telling Cat some sort of story.

"I could use your help with her though, she seems to be calm with you around and I have no idea how she's going to react. We may need to give her a mild sedative."

"Anything for Cat. I just want us to rule this out so that I can let Carter know that she's okay."

Walking back over to Alex and Cat, Kara smiled and thanked Alex for keeping Cat company.

"Um, Cat, they need to do a procedure on you to make sure everything is okay. You might not like it but I'll be here with you, okay? Don't be afraid."

Needless to say they did end up having to give Cat a mild sedative which brought tears to Kara's eyes because there had been enough needle marks put in Cat's arm as it was. She didn't like that they were adding to that trauma. But it was important that they had the procedure done and she was relieved when the doctor found no indication of an assault at first glance and then breathed a sigh of relief when the tests came back negative. And even though Cat was still dirty the doctor gave Kara permission to take her home but to keep an eye on her. Because whoever did this to her was still out there and they had no idea why they would attack Cat and take down her plane.

Now Kara needed to think up what they should tell the press if it came to that and tell Carter. But first things first Kara needed to fly Cat home and help clean her up. Flying in the dead of night helped with keeping Cat hidden as the small woman still clutched tighter. Landing softly on Cat's balcony Kara let Cat down to the ground and may have had to break the doorknob to Cat's balcony door. Which she knows Cat isn't going to be happy when she gets her memories back and realizes that Kara had to break into her house.

Cat hesitated at the doorway and Kara paused and held out her hand for Cat to take, "Come on, Cat, this is your house."

Everytime Cat touched her Kara felt a warmth and a tenderness in her heart and never wanted to let her go. Even behind those eyes she can still see a part of the pre-amnesia Cat Grant in there. Leading Cat into the house Kara let Cat look around and adjust to the environment around her. Cat hesitated but pictures sitting on a mantelpiece caught her eye, letting go of Kara's hand she made her way over and the first picture she picked up was a picture that even caught Kara's eye. A picture taken by most likely James of Kara and Cat at a company event and the way they looked at each other would make one think that they were in love. It stole Kara's breath away and made her cheeks flush, Cat brushed her fingers over the picture.

"Kara."

Cat's voice came out curious laced with a growing realization of affection for Kara. Turning back towards Kara she met the younger girl's eyes and the affection Kara saw there was so new to see coming from Cat. She knew the older woman craved affection and kept herself from expressing it. Kara found herself being hugged by the small blonde, arms wrapped around her and a face settled in her neck.

"Kara."

Kara craved Cat to say her name correctly so often and now it seemed like the only thing that Cat could say. Wrapping her arms around Cat she sighed knowing this little moment would have to end considering she still needed to somehow get Cat to take a shower without hurting herself. But a few more minutes like this couldn't hurt so Kara just hugged her tighter and whispered Cat's name into her hair like a mantra.

Sighing Kara reluctantly pulled away from Cat's grip, "Okay, Cat, let's get you cleaned up and figure out what we're going to tell everyone about your predicament."

"Okay, Kara," Cat just smiled and happily followed along with Kara.

"Well, good, sounds like your vocabulary is expanding past my first name. Which thank you for saying correctly this time around," Kara nervously giggled.

Cat just turned her head confused and stared so intensely at Kara that it made her blush. If simple looks just like that were going to make Kara blush she had no idea how she was going to help her clean up, hopefully she could take a shower on her own now.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara had no idea how their situation had come to this, she had left Cat to take a bath and clean herself up and she did do that. But...Cat had no modesty now, Kara was on the phone with James one minute telling him she had found Ms. Grant and what her symptoms were and what could they do and the next she was face to face with a very naked Cat Grant.

"Oh, my Rao, Cat! I'm just going to find you a towel or clothes, clothes would be nice. Rao knows that when you regain your memories you're going to threaten me about this moment."

Kara goes in search of some sort of clothes for Cat to wear, really not caring about matching clothes and the whatnot as long as Cat puts some damn clothes on everything will be mildly fine. Or so Kara thought until a naked Cat was dangling herself from Kara's neck.

"For the love of...please Cat, you can't…"

Anyone with eyes could tell the blush going from head to toe on Kara as she tried to keep her hands from grasping onto the still very naked Cat. But Kara noticed that Cat was trembling, at first she thought it was because she might possibly be cold but then she picked up on her erratic heartbeat and the increase in her breathing and a slight whimper that came from her as she clutched on tighter to Kara.

"Cat?"

Then Kara felt tears on her neck as Cat cried and all sense of trying to not touch a naked Cat Grant went out the window. Kara wrapped her arms around Cat and it began to rain outside and nothing made sense at all. Cat's breathing picked up and lightning flashed outside causing Cat to push herself away from Kara and to the far side of the room, huddled in the corner. Kara looked at her with sadness, seeing such a frightened Cat Grant, unlike her normal strong self made Kara want to protect her from the whole world. Grabbing a blanket from Cat's bed Kara slowly made her way over to Cat, "Shhh, shh, Cat. It's okay, you're safe, remember?"

The moment Kara had the blanket wrapped around Cat she grabbed her head and doubled over in pain screaming. The lightning and rain raging outside. Before Kara could make a move to help Cat even more the screaming stopped and Cat's hands shot out and grasped onto Kara's face. Teary wide eyes stared back at Kara, "Kara? Kara, I...they...the things they did to me. It was cold, everything hurt, this woman...she," Cat winced as she tried to remember.

Jumbled flashes and emotions overwhelmed Cat until she passed out in Kara's arms leaving a very frightened and uncertain Kara to pick her up like she was the most fragile thing in the world and carry her to the bed. Laying her down and covering her up, Kara looked down at her and sighed, brushing some of her blonde locks out of her face, "I'm sorry, Cat, for whatever you went through. I'm sorry I couldn't find you sooner."

For now she was just going to let Cat rest while she called James back so they could figure out something to tell the board and the press about Cat's condition. But was that really a good thing, especially with whoever was out there that had done this to Cat in the first place? Kara wasn't sure what was going on all she knew was that she was going to protect Cat even if it cost her her own life.


	4. Chapter 4

Cat dreams in black and white, loud noises, and she can't remember her name. She remembers being cold, very very cold, like her life was being sucked out of her. And she remembers screaming and crying a lot, no matter how strong she tried to be. Her throat is hoarse and she screams for Supergirl, the only name she can remember and she pleads to the powers that be to save her. And every time they inject her with something half the time it burns and feels like she's being torn apart and the other half she falls into a sleep she wishes she'd never wake up from. And then she dreams, nightmares of still being in that place, which she is. And dreams of being with Kara, who she damn well knows is Supergirl. Supergirl. Supergirl. She dreams of being with her son's, being happy, being not...there.

That is until little by little those memories, dreams, fantasies all disappear one by one. And there is sometimes a gray nothingness that she wishes she could stay in but she's always drawn back out. But she's not there anymore, she's asleep in her own bed, safe with Kara in the next room.

But Cat still dreams in black and white and loud noises but she remembers her name. She dreams of floating in the ocean. Wrapped in warm water, the sun shining just above the surface and she opens her eyes and looks up. A hand from Supergirl reaching down to pull her to the surface and she reaches for it but she's yanked down into the darkness of the ocean where it's cold and lonely and the pressure pushes in on her head and she screams as that hand fades from view. And suddenly she can't breath and she's gasping for air and screaming for Supergirl as she tries to reach out to the surface.

And in a minute Kara is in Cat's room, finding Cat tangled in sheets trying to reach out for something, screaming for Supergirl...for her. Kara reaches out and pulls Cat into her arms while trying to soothe her. Cat slowly begins to calm as she starts to become conscious and her arms are now wrapped around Kara's neck. And she's crying into her neck gasping for air.

"Kara."

"It's okay Cat, I got you. You're safe."

Holding the small woman in her arms Kara didn't know such a strong woman could ever feel so fragile to her like she did in that moment.

"Hurt. They hurt me. Kara. To get to you. They-"

"Shh..it's okay now, Cat. You don't have to explain right now. You should get some more sleep."

Kara tried to move but Cat's nails dug into her shoulders holding her to her, "No. Kara, stay."

"Okay, okay, I'll stay but only till you fall asleep. First you're going to have to let go of me."

Cat hesitated but pulled away from her, tears tracking down her face. Kara situated herself on the other side of the bed while Cat climbed under the covers and reached her hand out to grasp Kara's. Perhaps if she were to have another nightmare as she fell asleep at least this time she'd be able to reach out and grasp Supergirl's hand. She hoped. And Cat fell asleep looking at Kara's face and Kara never did leave her side even after that. And she fell asleep soon after, still grasping Cat's hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Throughout the night Kara had to wake Cat up from many nightmares, finally waking in the morning Kara found Cat peacefully resting in her arms still and Kara marveled at how small she looked in her arms. She didn't want to leave her all alone but also didn't want to wake her and so she sighed and just laid there brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

Ten minutes later and Kara felt Cat stir in her arms, yawn, and then open her eyes. Kara searched her eyes for some sort of recognition in them, "Kara."

"Cat? How about some breakfast?"

Cat just rubbed her eyes and nodded, Kara pulling herself from the bed and finding some clothes to set aside for Cat. While Cat got dressed Kara started making pancakes, she knew Cat didn't normally eat pancakes but had them around for Carter. But she felt like this version of Cat would enjoy pancakes today.

She was tossing the first pancake when Cat came out dressed in the clothes that had been laid out for her, "I know you don't normally eat pancakes except for when Carter is here, but I thought you could use some comfort food."

Cat just smiled and sat down eagerly as Kara set a plate down in front of her, not too soon after she was laying the first pancake on her plate and pouring some syrup on top. Smiling Kara handed her a fork.

"Later we'll go to the DEO and have Alex run some more tests and then how about we go to the beach?"

Cat stilled but then nodded as she took a bite of her pancake. Kara knew that Cat had remembered something in those nightmares, she wasn't exactly sure how much she remembered and if she had remembered anything did she want to talk about it? Kara wasn't ready to go back to work with Cat like this, she didn't want to leave her side till they figured out what had happened to her.

Kara loaded Cat's plate up with a few more pancakes and tossed some strawberries on them and then stacked her own plate full of pancakes and started munching on them. Considering everything that's happened Kara felt oddly relaxed in this moment. Even after Cat finished her own pancakes and just watched Kara eat hers she just smiled as Cat smiled back. Cat reached over though stilling Kara mid-chew and wiped a smudge of syrup from the corner of her mouth with her thumb and then licking it off.

Wide eyed Kara swallowed her pancakes nearly choking on them and Cat just smirked and Kara almost thought the old Cat was back, "T-thanks."

As Kara finished her pancakes she noticed Cat's smirk fade to serious, "I remember some of it Kara, I remember a little of myself, I remember you. Especially you and those eyes. But what they did to me, I don't know, I just remember the pain. They…." she seemed to search through her thoughts as if trying to remember but she winced and held her head.

Kara reached a hand out to grasp Cat's wrist, "Are you okay?"

"Nothing, every time I try to remember it makes my head hurt. It's nothing, just finish your pancakes and we'll go see your sister."

Within minutes Kara had scarfed down her pancakes and changed into her Supergirl uniform, "I hate to have to fly you there but I feel like it'd be easiest. Although I don't know how you feel with people possibly seeing Supergirl leaving from your balcony."

"Its okay Kara, I really don't mind."

And Kara was perplexed by this new Cat even though she knew Cat had been through a traumatic experience and wasn't quite herself again she just seemed less brash. As she walked out to the balcony with her she wasn't expecting Cat to get into her personal space with so much ease, blushing Kara lifted her into her arms and took off for the DEO.

Kara probably wouldn't admit out loud much she enjoyed how close Cat held herself with her arms wrapped around her neck. Kara was really starting to get addicted to holding Cat in her arms and she really wasn't sure if she'd be able to go back to not doing that once they figured everything out.

Once they touched down at the DEO Cat immediately grasped her hand and didn't let go even as they made their way through the DEO.

Alex was getting ready to draw some blood from Cat's arm as Cat still held onto Kara's hand. The needles were starting to give her anxiety.

"Any changes since we last spoke?"

"Um, Cat remembered some things, not all of it, we still don't know what they did to her and she doesn't have all her memories back."

Kara noticed Cat's increased breathing and tightening of her grasp and gave her a comforting squeeze back, "You're okay, Cat. I'm here, you're almost done."

Alex quickly finished up the last vial of blood and then Cat was launching herself into Kara's arms shaking. Alex met Kara's gaze and matched her worried look with her own.

"I hate to put her through more tests but we only have a few more and then you guys are free to go."

"Are you up for it Cat? I'll be here the whole time."

Cat just nodded her head against Kara's chest, the sooner these tests got done the better. They did some scans of Cat's body and with Cat's permission J'onn tried to see into her memories but again there was only so far he could reach in her mind, like someone had put a chemical blocker there.

Alex gave them the okay to go but that she'd call them in a few hours with the results as soon as she got them. Kara changed into her civilian clothes and tucked her super-suit away. Before they took off Kara wrapped Cat up into a hug she knew she needed even if she wouldn't ask for it. She knew Cat Grant, memories or not, she will always want a hug even if she doesn't ask for it. And Cat grasp her back, letting out a shaky breath of relief at finally being done. It brought back too much fear from whatever had happened to her.

"How about that walk on the beach huh? I'll have one of the guys here drop us off at the pier."

Cat wrapped her arms tightly around Kara's neck and spoke into her neck "Help me forget, even if for a little while."

Kara smiled sadly before she pulled away and went to ask one of the guys if they could give them a ride. They got lunch from a Big Belly Burger at the end of the pier and Kara had to fight off a flock of seagulls that tried to steal her giant bag of fries. Which was a sight to be seen for Cat, she giggled and Cat Grant did not normally giggle at least not in public. And then Cat insisted they share an ice cream, she may not remember herself completely but she knows that with all this food Kara has been putting into her body she does not need to be eating so much of it. So one shared soft serve ice cream later they found themselves sitting on a ferris wheel.

"Thank you for today, Kara. I'm sorry for taking you away from your life."

A giant smile graced Kara's lips, "Cat you've become a big part of my life, today has been one of the best days of my life. I've always wondered what a day away from work with the Queen of All Media would be like."

Kara reached into her pocket and pulled out a necklace with her house of El symbol on it, "This may seem cheesy but I got this from one of the gift shops while you were using the restroom and I thought maybe if I'm ever not around that maybe my symbol might bring you some strength. You told me once that it gave you hope every time you saw it. So if you're ever having a panic attack or something, maybe it'll help calm you….because apart of me is w-with you," kara started blushing, "Oh, my that sounded less corny in my head, you know never mind forget I even-"

Cat reached a hand over clasping her hand with the necklace, "Kara, I want it."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

Kara reached across and put the necklace on her and smiled at her symbol dangling from Cat's neck. She caught Cat staring at her and she blushed and wondered when things had changed between them. Before all of this, after she promoted her, or maybe even before. She thought there was something there but then Cat said she was leaving and then she was taken. She didn't want her to go away again after they sorted all of this out. It made her heart ache at the thought of her leaving.

"If we figure this all out and you get the rest of your memories back, please don't go away again. You were going to leave CatCo and I don't think I can handle you disappearing again. I-"

Kara looked down at her hands, she knew this wasn't some little crush, she loved Cat. She loved her enough to let her go the first time, just wanted her to be happy, unconditionally. But now she knew it'd break her heart if she didn't at least say something.

"I won't leave."

"You don't know that, once you get all your memories back…."

"Kara, if there's one thing I have always remembered or at least felt the ghost of, it's that I never want to leave you. Even if I was….I'm sure it was for your own good. But I promise you now that I won't leave, at least not without….my Supergirl."

Kara reached a hand out and ran her thumb over Cat's lips staring at them and back to Cat's eyes where she was met with a glimmer of permission in her eyes and so she leaned in and kissed her. She hoped that if Cat got the rest of her memories back that this wouldn't change anything.

Pulling apart they both smiled at each other and finished the rest of their ride watching the sunset in comfortable silence.


	6. Chapter 6

Kara lay limp with her arms wrapped around a sleeping Cat, the sun shining warm and bright on her face. The memories of yesterdays events running through her mind, after their little adventure on the pier they came home and Cat immediately fell asleep but not without dragging Kara to bed with her. Smiling Kara nuzzled her face into the back of Cat's neck and breathed her in. But she was soon interrupted by her phone going off, reluctantly removing herself from around Cat she gave a guilty look as she saw Cat shiver without her warmth. Pulling the blanket around Cat in her absence and grabbing her phone she took the call out on the balcony.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting my wonderful sleep this morning, Alex!"

"Kara. We got Cat's test results."

Kara could hear the reluctance and worry in Alex's voice, "What? What is it?"

Alex clears her throat and thinks about how she should word this but there's no easy way around saying this, "I think what we're dealing with here is Cadmus territory, Cat's DNA has been genetically modified. Those track marks, the blood under her fingernails, to go through your DNA being altered like that. It's painful. Her blood is showing signs of Kryptonian DNA, your DNA. If she hasn't shown any signs of it now then maybe they failed in their experiment. But be careful with her Kara. Either Cadmus erased her memories on purpose or she blocked them out because it was painful for her. Otherwise she looks physically fine, her rape kit came back fine. How's she doing anyways? Anymore memories return?"

Kara stood there trying to collect her thoughts, Cat's DNA was altered, but she hadn't shown any signs of it. Maybe Alex was right, maybe it didn't work. Pulling herself out of it she peered back in to a sleep Cat, "No more memories but she's doing fine, we had some fun yesterday, I showed her around the pier and took her mind off of things."

"Kara maybe you should try taking her to CatCo and see if anything triggers her memories to come back, can't keep her away from there forever. People will start to ask questions and I doubt that's a media storm that any of us want."

"You're right, I'll take her today and make an appearance. Maybe something will come back to her."

"Okay, keep me updated, I'll let you know if I find anything else."

Kara hung up and sighed and went back inside stopping at Cat's side of the bed and reached a hand out to move hair out of her face. Kara smiled and placed a kiss on her head and then went to the kitchen to make them some breakfast before they discussed going to CatCo.

As Kara was finishing up their breakfast a Cat she was going to have to get used to, sleep crazed hair, sweatpants and a long shirt came out yawning and took the coffee offered to her from Kara's grip.

Kara smiled at her, "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this version of you but I love it."

"Hmm, well it definitely is more relaxing than the office," Cat took a sip of her coffee and directed a smile up at the beaming Kara.

"Well, today we have to go see Alex at the DEO, she said they got your test results and I think it best I leave it to Alex to explain things. But everything's fine….I think. So don't worry."

"Darling, I think you're more worried than I am. But don't worry I think my memories are all back now, except for one blank spot from when they….so returning to work sounds like a good idea after this, hmmm?"

Kara let out a breath of air and laughed serving up a plate of fruit, eggs, sausage, and toast and placing it in front of Cat.

"I think getting back to work would be a great idea."

"So eager to get back to pleasing me, Kara?"

Kara gulped and blushed stifling her answer with a bite of toast, she didn't even need to answer that question for Cat to know the answer.

First breakfast and then to the DEO and hopefully to work later after that. Hopefully this new information doesn't mean anything and Cat is fine, she hasn't exhibited any of her own traits so maybe Cadmus failed. For now Kara was just going to enjoy these new days she was experiencing with Cat. Kara took another bite of toast and just smiled at the Supergirl necklace around Cat's neck.

Kara wished she could freeze this moment for a little while more because she knew it wasn't going to last much longer.


End file.
